5 Reasons Why CP Armies are Now 14+ and Going Downhill

The most I can do is hate. And what will that do? Absolutely nothing.

A hot topic of this year is the incoming war between WA and BA. For the newer readers, this might seem pretty cool. To the readers who are going through their immature humor stage, they’d find it very racially charged. I saw this coming. I saw all of this coming. For me, this war is the result of a huge buildup that has lasted all year, starting from when Waterkid100, Ioioluk, and now Pain joined the community. They have influenced the general public and changed them for the worse. But is it entirely their fault? Here are 5  reasons why armies will never go back to the way they were: casual and meant for fun.


1. Our Savagery


Only recently has it gone to the point where I need to put this in my post. Pretty much in every war now, we (or the people I mentioned above) have abandoned all pretense and just resort to flaming our opponent, using cheap tactics, and basically set our goal to “murder the opposing army” for so much as disagree with us. Everybody seems to have forgotten that CP armies were made for fun. The only times this maxim is ever brought up is in a flame post, trying to defend our “rights” when somebody decides to make a proactive or rational move. And the saddest thing is, people agree with the flame post and the poster is free to continue whatever he was doing, e.g. supposed terrorist activities. Black Alliance, I am looking directly at you.

Waterkid brings up a point in this post that CP armies are turning into piles of shit when they were made for fun, but whose fault is that? You don’t completely annihilate one of the oldest armies in this community “for fun”. Everybody was doing fine until people like this showed up. You want to have fun? Take all of ACP’s servers, then hand them back with a smile and a friendly handshake, let them rebuild for a bit, then invade them again. It’s like saying the assassination of JFK was “for fun”. This is a CHILD’S RATIONALERemember: it’s only for fun if it’s fun for both sides. And speaking of the council, do I really have to connect the dots for you?

There is no “You” in this and every other situation. The council is the poster boy of all (major) armies, and represents their opinions. If the armies collectively vote for something, it will be done because of the majority supporting it.

The council is not biased, but the bills may be. You do not have to vote for them if you don’t want to. By leaving the council, you are essentially losing a vote for the negative side of the bill to remove Water and Pain, and then everything will be worse off than it was before. This is not just Boomer and Tap trying to banish Pain and Waterkid; this is 3 armies and counting who want two of the most despicable members of this community out. If the majority of major armies want them out, what choice do you really have?

But I digress. The point of this reason was to tell you that wars are no longer being fought for fun. All opinions are directed towards others in a derogatory manner, all actions are taken by those influenced by sheer hatred towards people who have done nothing except retaliate. All wars are instigated due to circumstances other than “for fun”. You have no right to talk about how CP armies are meant to be for fun when you are declaring war on an army in the meantime with intent to kill.

The amounts of hatred I’ve seen for the past months have reached a level too high to ignore. If you just CALM DOWN and actually have fun without drowning an army in its blood, that will be one reason gone.


2. Our Warped Perception of Right and Wrong


It’s a known fact that EVERYBODY in this community thinks they are right and will kill to keep this belief. This too, has gone too far. It has lead to flame wars over the outcome of every battle, and propaganda posts comparing the opposing side to such villainous people as Hitler.  Nobody in this community has the faintest idea of what is right and what is wrong. Whoever does, is shunted out by those who think they are wrong (See reason number 1). This is the near direct cause of our Savagery: we believe whoever is our opponent in war is wrong, and eventually will go to extremes over this. Part of the reason why our opinions are so warped is because we listen to the leader[s] of whichever armies we are in, e.g. we are loyal to the leader until it gets to the point that we support their idealisms and beliefs. Eventually, the soldiers in the army act just like the leader, due to their being exposed to whatever the leader likes to do, in this case cursing and savagery. I’m not telling you to rebel against your leader if he does something controversial, but please, have some COMMON SENSE and not blindly follow him and provide useless rationale when the leader turns out to be someone like, say Lord Pain. To wrap it up, how many of you thought ACP was the bad guy before LT and Pirates showed up?


3. Our Habit of Lying to Children


I have done some lurking around chats like DW, and I have seen some shit.

Namely, the mods and owners being unbelievably nice to new recruits in an attempt to get them to join the army and proceed to make them believe that ACP is the worst army in the history of Club Penguin.

Meanwhile, the DW on the right was busy looking for the nearest penguin to stick that badge on.

Normally, I would be fine with this. CP is a kids game, and we are just trying to be friendly. But this is during a war, and during a war is no time to be friendly to your recruits, no matter how young they are. It’s not like 6 year olds play CP. They deserve to know, albeit in a less graphic way. I’ll admit that kids that young should not know about, uh, everything else that you do behind their backs. It gets to the point where we practically brainwash our younger recruits, telling them that the enemy is downright Satan.

Seriously. I know many people who are guilty of babying their new recruits and then talking about girls and porn at night. Shoutout to Dataco. Please don’t be bipolar. Either you are nice to your recruits or you are cursing out your enemy, do not do both. SaW does this. I do this. Waterkid does this. ETC. It’s just like the Big Buddies program at my school. Nobody in my class ever acts as nice as they are to their Little Buddy, and I know why.

But when do we ever need to even do this anymore? We barely recruit on CP anymore, and that’s because of the filters. It’s too hard, you might say, I might pull a vagina muscle, you say. And what’s the outcome of all that CP recruiting? More babysitting and more immature kids joining the army. Why are you giving yourself so much trouble? Because this entire community, is based on Club Penguin. A kid’s game.

Which is meant for FUN, as Waterkid so graciously reminds us every time we try to take action against him.

This brings it to a full cycle.

  1. Recruit on CP
  2. Get 9 year old recruits
  3. Treat them like kings
  4. Brainwash them
  5. Give them a high rank they don’t deserve
  6. ?????
  7. PROFIT!
  8. Recruit on CP with worse tactics, larger size, and more disorganization


4. Our Dependence on Xat


Well, Xat is sort of okay, isn’t it?

The above picture was an example.

Before, Xat served only as a chat with which we communicated tactics. They made battles more organized, less chaotic.

Today, they are an extension of our middle finger, which we use with relish to curse out our enemies. The addition of xats powers gives us the ability to bribe leaders of armies, causing turns in wars. A medium of payment for hackers. The worst part is that we are so dependent on Xat now that there is the point of no return. Without Xat, we would not be able to communicate. Battles would devolve into mass orgies. But maybe it is better that way?

No. Because we have been recruiting through Xat as well, and due to the proved ineffectivity of CP recruiting, it pulls in more recruits than any other method, even Twitter recruiting (If you still think Icey uses Riffy’s twitter, READ MY OTHER POSTS, DUMBASS). Here’s the problem:

Xat is 14+. And because we have been using it as a oil rig for recruiting and that the majority of people in our community are over 13, this is exactly what CP armies are becoming as well. 14+The only reason we use it to recruit is because it’s easier. And this is what I call the butterfly effect: People in armies are now twice as inappropriate, twice as less willing to be coerced to create a CP account and fight for snow-themed servers. Did anybody actually think that the people who used Xat also played CP as well? Apparently so, and now you are experiencing the consequences: 15 on CP, 30 on chat.

Still don’t think Xat is meant, designed, and allowed for 14 year olds and above?

Imagine recruiting this guy.


5. Our Refusal to Do Anything that Benefits the Opposing Side


The final reason, probably the reason why this war has lasted for so fucking long. Have you ever noticed that we always like to help the opponents rebuild, give them a bit of a break between invasions?

My mistake. NOBODY HAS EVER NOTICED THAT. Nobody EVER does that. When I talk about this reason, I’m referring to anything, ANYTHING that could help the opponent gain even the slightest advantage over us. Mostly, admitting defeat, stating that the other army is definitely stronger, and surrendering the war. We should be listening to Waterkid’s words of propaganda and remember that this is a KID’S GAME. THERE IS NOTHING TO LOSE FROM ADMITTING DEFEAT. A SERVER IS JUST A ROOM FOR PENGUINS TO WALK AROUND IN. IT’S VIRTUAL. I’ve listened to what ACP has had to say, and from what I’ve heard, Waterkid doesn’t even bother to post about it if/when the Pirates ever even lose a battle. Don’t believe me?

I don’t know about you, but it seems pretty tough to pull off a hat trick of victories. Especially when the opposing side is simultaneously claiming victory.

“Maybe we should just split the server and share it!” SAID NOBODY, FUCKING EVER.

I find the admitting defeat issue a problem on both sides, but more so in BA, because granted, sometimes ACP does admit defeat. Pirates, on the other hand, never does this ever. They may have their rationales, but in the end it is just ACP gearing up against an entire alliance, so what accomplishment is there, especially when ACP is dying already? It’s like saying your school is larger than your friend’s school, but only if you count your school’s surrounding neighborhood. It’s absolute bullshit how dangerous it seems to let the enemy have their moment of glorious victory. One server out of your collection of 40 won’t lose you the war, just invade it back or trade it with another of the enemy’s servers, which happens to be just as good. But NO, the other army is the equivalent of Hitler, they should be murdered and the leaders banished from CP armies! *Hacking Cough* Savagery.

EXTRA: My Thoughts

I don’t voice the opinions of WA, but they would probably agree with me. This post was highly opinionated, but I am not trying to save the ACP, just pointing out how and why CP armies have been going down the shitter for the past year and a half, and that nobody has bothered to stop it because they are too occupied with trying to stave off a powerhungry alliance of black penguins that want to kill an army of green penguins not “for fun”, but because they’re the “bad guys”. Maybe if you looked around for a second and noticed that, yes, everybody is at fault here!, then maybe, just maybe, you’d surrender the war and just cool down for some time. But you’ve already reached the point of no return where surrendering means certain death, even though this has been proved to be impossible. And why are we trying to kill each other so badly? Reread the post.

In the meantime, I bid you farewell, thank you for your time.


~The Keyboard is Mightier than the Snowball

~ War News has Come Home

35 Responses

  1. Oh look I trashtalked Waterkid and BA I must be Satanic


  2. Great post! This is 100% true.


  3. Someone with common sense! Finally!


  4. Took 30 minutes to read it…


  5. I love this post, and have a newly refounded respect of Gordy.


  6. I like this post
    Comment edited, fail avoided


  7. Son, DW doesn’t give out mod ranks to anyone. We give them to noobs who prove themselves worthy. If you want to talk about mod ranks check IW’s, since their mods are so professional and such, and get back to me.


    • I agree full heartedly, want a cookie?
      The point of that reason was to explain how armies were being nice to children just so they could help in the war effort without telling them what was really going on.


  8. Very good post, very true, and many of the reasons why the scenario we are now in with this impending war has come to be.


  9. Another great post by Gordy.


  10. Couldn’t have said it better myself.


  11. i just read the pictures


  12. Exactly.


  13. Alex Cone you’d best hurry up your calm, rational rage comment supporting BA if you want me to reply to it


  14. Amen to this post.


  15. Well done Gordy. You have spoken the unspoken.


  16. Nice post, Gordy, I totally agree with you on this.


  17. I agree with Water’s post saying ‘Dear CP Army Council’ It’s biased now that Tal runs it because he shows personal hatred to Water and Pain. The Council is now becoming a pile of sheeeeet.


  18. Well Gord, either I took a page from your book or you took a page from my book for rants. Yours look better though, you have pretty pictures.


  19. Pirates actually admit defeat, they posted a few “Loss on : posts.


  20. I have to agree with you Gordy cp armies have changed too much and the wars and battles are based on hate though I would say the army of the pirates are based on hate more than most of the armies in the cp can cammunity


  21. […] 5 Reasons Why CP Armies are now 14+ and Going Downhill […]


  22. Love the post, just try to keep the swearing down to a minimum.


  23. BEST POST. I hate people who talk about bad on girls. I am a girl, and totally do not like it when this happens. This basically is when of those academically summed up posts about what is happening to armies and talking about the youth, kids to say, this is all true.


  24. This is everything a post can ask for (WARY)


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