Dr. Woton, or How I Learned to Stop Wasting My Life and Let People Live Theirs

Earlier today, CPA Central was (once again) hacked. Now I know that you came to this site looking for army news or actual content and don’t want to waste your time with this, trust me, neither do I, so you really don’t need to read it. This is a response to the hackers and the hackers only.

Ever since I started putting up a few advertisements on CPA Central a few months ago, I have been rolling in the mulah, baby. This is me:

This is my new house:

This is what I do in my free time:

Yes, as you can see, I am truly living it grand. All thanks to you, you stupid little penguins, who I’ve so easily been able to take advantage of.

Guys, do you think he’s joking?

Yes, I am joking. In fact, (and facts I shall provide) I am not making millions off of you viewers. I am barely making tens, if that is even a term.

Here is a screenshot of the performance reports from our Adsense channel since advertising was put up on the site:

Now I know what you may be thinking, “OMG he’s making two hundred dollars a day?!” No, that is, in fact, two dollars. Some days we even make as little as seven cents a day.

Not enough proof? Oh, here, download our performance report:

Yes, as you can see, I made an entire $3.47 on our highest day. “Damn, that’s enough to buy an entire bagel.” Yes, a bagel would be good, but I personally have been splurging on muffins.

Now, why even put up the advertising at all? Well, because, in order to keep this site running and supply the army community with the latest news and information, there are various expenses to pay for. We have to pay for our site hosting, domain name, theme and framework, and now, thanks to this newest wave of hackers, an advanced security system (thank you very much).

And on top of all of this, despite the fact that this site generates almost no revenue, I’m also planning to start paying our reporters in Xats (100, perhaps 200, Xats a month). And, any revenue that remains after that, I’m going to be splitting with the administration of CPA Central.

And you know what? I don’t have to be doing any of this. Even if CPA Central was making me thousands of dollars a year, even if there weren’t any expenses, I would not be in the wrong to just take all of that money for myself. In case no one has noticed, that’s how the internet works. People work hard to provide content for their websites and in return make money off of them. It’s not a bad thing to do. It’s not taking advantage of anyone. And, usually, these hardworking people will be able to make their small sums of money without attracting massive hoards of angry hackers who want to destroy their work completely.

I spent years creating and sustaining this website. If I want to make money off of it, that’s fine. The fact is, however, that I don’t care about making money. The reason I created this website was to unite and inspire a thriving community, a community full of intelligent people and big ideas, that I had learned so much from and gotten so much out of. And that is the reason I upgraded this website, creating a more immersive and beneficial resource for all of you viewers, who I’ve always said I respect and value.

My message to any hackers is this: If you want to hack CPA Central, go ahead, but don’t do so with the bullsh*t excuse that you’re doing it “to get back at Woton for making tons of money off of people.” Know that you’re doing it because that’s really the best use of your time you could find. To be clear: You’re hacking a nearly defenseless website, hosted through a completely insecure platform, run by a group of teenagers who know almost nothing about web development. And who knows? Perhaps some day you’ll delete the site completely. All I know is, while I spent my time creating a valuable resource that has helped improve an incredible online community, you’ve spent yours just trying to destroy it.

Hackers, I have no qualms with you whatsoever. I certainly do not want to have to spend my time fighting with you. I’ve been done with the world of Club Penguin Armies for years now. The only reason I’m here now is because I wanted to upgrade the site this summer, which I am nearly done with. After that, I’ll be done here forever. I should hope the same applies to you. If I may make a suggestion, go outside, read a book, write a novel, produce a film, paint a painting, act in a play, learn, explore, and create. I know that’s what I’m going to be doing.

– Woton

33 Responses

  1. It’s pretty sad anyone would waste their time trying to knock a childrens’ website offline. If you knew anything of a real hacker community, they’d humiliate you beyond belief. If you’re lucky enough to have some ability, try putting it to some productive use: website security, software development, etc. Hell, go hack a real website. But until then, you’re not impressing anyone, and frankly you just prove you have even less of a life than the people you’re wasting your time messing with.

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    • I just notice something.Clubpenguin armies news site is making people type 1,000 words to become a better person and is basically should be helping with there school work.If your somehow doing 1,000 word posts on a clubpenguin army site.Then you should be able to do your work easy and school and you do have some good listening skills from listening to the leaders in battles.We have leadership skills who some people who are legendary leaders here could probably grow up to be the president of the United States.So thank the clubpenguin army community.You say that you have no lifes being on here.But you also learn lots of things from being here and you are learning to become a better person in the world and probably grow up to become a successful person also.So amen out to all the people in armies,world,school,families,friends,and God.God Bless America and other countries,thank you for reading this comment.

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      • I would agree.

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        • Thanks sir. Btw sorry with my grammer i was kinda typing fast and was in the mood of making a good speech.Thanks for all the support in the world to give me the energy to make this speech and one day i do want to become a leader to the people of America.Even the hackers for clubpenguin armies are smart enough for school since they know tech stuff.So i do like Hackers for showing the skills they have and they are showing us out to the word.But i think its kinda sad that they are ruining the little kids game and showing people doxed on chats and stuff.I’m a Purple Republic member,i don’t go on clubpenguin and ruin armies and clubpenguin like the rest of my group does.I just simply give ideas out to the group and tell them what to do or not do.Think i’m a bad person go ahead.But i am a smart person and i indeed show ya that i was a smart person.Thank you for your time in reading this comment and thank you Woton.You are a nice guy and hope you do indeed grow up to become a successful person like some people in the world.

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    • I agree Boomer, but it’s not hacking. It’s simply somebody using a script/program.

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  2. I remember that, and why would anyone want to hack a site like CPAC? And there not making much money, and you have these stupid hackers going “lets rase the bill by hacking”. I’m gobsmacked that they haven’t even tried to delete the site yet.

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  3. fourth fifth sixth eighth nineth

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  4. oh and no one called 2nd so 2nd

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  5. What’s wrong with making that money? Woton has a site people view a lot, why not make a few bucks off it?

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  6. BOOM!

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  7. This made me laugh, I knocked CPAC off a few times last month, but booting a website is not “hacking” If you’re going to call people low-lifes for using a basic program to boot websites offline then I don’t know what I should call you considering you’re making money off a kid’s website.

    People do this stuff to get reactions out of individuals, such as yourself. You do realize whoever prompted the attacks earlier is probably laughing his ass off at the fact you bothered to write this post. It’s called don’t feed the troll.

    Secondly, if you’re making such a low sum amount of money then may I ask what is the point in having adsense if it is causing more trouble than profit? Wouldn’t it be easier to just take it off?

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  8. Although I am impressed with the skills people have to knock websites offline, don’t just do it to other websites. I mean like, I practice DDOS’ing ALL THE TIME, but I never use my skills maliciously! I practice it on my OWN websites, just so I know and can claim I have the skills!

    Plus, most of the other hackers out there are pretty stupid. Why don’t you just DDOS EVERY army in the Top 10, then DDOS CPAC! That means, chaos, nothing to do, nobody to report it! I am not suggesting I am going to do this, but at least think before you act.

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  9. You don’t need any skills at all… Anyone can do it.

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  10. Who hacked it anyway

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  11. great post…touching too….you put a lot of work in this website and they’re trying to destroy it for a crappy reason.
    Hackers, find something to do with your life.
    Woton, good luck bro.

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  12. Who hacked it?

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  13. To be honest, I really don’t see why people are HACKING a cp site? Seriously? -.-

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  14. HOLY SMACK BUTT! THAT IS SOO MUCH MONEY! THAT IS MORE DOUGH I HAVE SEEN IN MY LIFE!

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  15. […] 2. Dr. Woton, Or How I Learned to Stop Wasting My Life and Let People Live Theirs […]

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  16. […] SEPTEMBER 2012: Dr. Woton, or How I Learned to Stop Wasting My Life and Let People Live Theirs […]

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